Friday, 3 February 2012

Long Time, No Check In

Hi everybody (or just me since I mostly write this for me anyway and so far no one except me has ever checked it),
I have not written here in 5 months.   That's a long time and I'm sorry to be such a crappy blogger.  But I will now fill you in on all that has happened to me since then.
It's funny, I reread what I had written last summer before I started writing this post and there is so much that has changed and lots that is still the same.
Same:  my work life still sucks.  Well, that isn't entirely fair.  There are challenging aspects to my job.  Yes, that sounds much more encouraging.  Basically my problem is that my manager is a pretty poor manager and that leads to some tough situations.  I have come a long way in the last 5 months in sticking up for myself and doing what I think is right or needs to be done regardless of whether it rocks the boat.  Due to my biggest change since the summer, I no longer care as much about my job because I am on a countdown to being out the door.  That being said...
Different:  I am pregnant!!!  Right now, I am just about 26 weeks and we are expecting our bundle of joy to arrive in May.  It's funny, I had a long hard summer with all of my health issues as a result of losing a baby in June and when I wrote that bitter post in August about still not being pregnant and being frustrated, I actually was already pregnant and just didn't know it yet.
My experience with miscarriage has made me both more scared and concerned that I might otherwise have been and also so much more appreciative.  Being pregnant is not always easy and you don't always feel good, but I think to myself how grateful I am to be living my life every single day.  I guess, even though I haven't been writing here, I was still sparkling this last 5 months.
I am planning (fingers crossed) to write here more often.  I would like to use this as a forum to record how my pregnancy is going and then what my life with Baby will be like.  This is going to be such a huge change for my family that I think it will be fun to share the joys as well as the challenges.  I am a huge fan of blogs in being able to see into others lives and know that they are not that different from me and what I am experiencing.  
My house is still a mess, it still causes conflict with my husband, but we are happy knowing we are about to become parents.  I am a little concerned about how the baby is going to change our dynamic.  People keep saying how having a baby is so stressful and hard on a marriage.  I think B and I have a very solid marriage so I'm not worried about that but I am worried about losing the parts of our relationship that make us "Us" if you know what I mean.  There won't be long snuggle marathons, sci fi sessions on the couch or nachos for dinner anymore (well maybe we can keep the nachos!) or at least not as often.  I think the move to always considering someone else's needs over our own is going to be a culture shock.
Well, no point borrowing trouble before it comes.  Much better to count your blessings while you have them!

Have a sparkly weekend!

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