Tuesday 19 July 2011

I Can't Think of a Title and It is Stressing Me Out so This is the Anti Title

Today, I am feeling exhausted.  I haven't slept very well due to all the thunderstorms.  I tend to be nervous during storms and then I can't fall back asleep because I am thinking about what ifs.  Like, what if the big tree gets hit by lightning and falls on my bedroom.  What if our house burns down after being struck?  I tend to be a catastrophic worrier but I am working on it.  I find thinking positively to be much more relaxing and encouraging but it doesn't always come naturally.

In happy news, I weighed in at weight watchers last night and I am down 3.2 pounds!!  Weee!  I didn't even follow the diet 100%.  Probably closer to 85% but that's still a big improvement for me.  I have always been interested in health and fitness, general wellness actually I suppose.  But I have never really been good at applying it to my real life.  There is always something more urgent to do, exercising seems to always come last on my list of priorities, even healthy eating takes more time then just grabbing something and shoving it in your mouth.  Despite the fact that I don't really believe what I am about to tell you, this is what I am working toward.

I DESERVE to be healthy and happy.  I am WORTH more than I demonstrate through my actions.  I am loved by others and I am loved by myself.

These are things that are hard for me to say and even harder to believe.  I am trying to recapture the idea that I am made in the image of God and my life is a miracle regardless of how I act or what I accomplish or what I look like even.  I am loved and I wouldn't treat others that I love the way I treat myself.  So slowly, I am working on this, too.

I joined weight watchers because I need that feeling of accountability and I guess this is another form of that.  I am going to put what I think and feel out there and maybe someone will appreciate my honesty or maybe it will be just for me.  Either way, there is still value in that.

Ok.  Moving on, today is zumba day so I'm excited for that!  Hoping for a good evening once I get home and take a cool shower!

Cheers!
Krista

Wednesday 13 July 2011

Sparkle Day

Right now, I am teaching summer school phys ed and CALM.  I am sitting with my students absolutely exhausted.  We did Zumba AND Mixed Martial Arts this morning and I am so tired.  I have recently started WeightWatchers (on Monday!) and it has been tough.  I don't have a lot to lose and I haven't really ever dieted before.  I have often said that I was on a diet but never actually followed through.  So this is different for me.

Here is how I am sparkling today!
Healthy Lunch- Extreme Pita
Exercise- Zumba and Martial Arts
Relationships- Bonding with my students

All in all, I am doing pretty well.  My goal for this first week on WeightWatchers is to write down everything I eat but not make any changes until I get a handle on journalling.  I have tried to journal before and never stuck with it for more than 24 hours.  I am going to try and blog about my journey every day.  We'll see how it goes.

While I'm here, I might as well be vulnerable.  I am scared that by facing my weight issues and dealing with them, I will have to face myself.  I have been rereading Geneen Roth's "Women, Food and God" and I need to deal with why I overeat or this will be a teeter-totter for the rest of my life.  I don't want to spend as much time and energy obsessing about myself as I currently do.  It's not good for my soul and I want to put my energy into making the world a better place.  Right now, I am not contributing as much as I would like to.

Well, that's it for now!  Peace Out!

Tuesday 12 July 2011

A Line in The Ocean

Hi Everybody,
This is my very first blog post.  I feel like I am dropping a line into a very big ocean here.  We'll see what I pull out!  In the next couple of weeks, I would like to get my blog all set up and start posting.  This is an attempt on my part to try and be present more in my own life.  I feel like I talk about mindfulness to students all the time but I don't really walk the walk.  So this is it.

My heart IS full of sparkles and it is up to me to notice it and maybe share it with others.

Talk soon,
Krista